New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
