nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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