i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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