Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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