Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Congratulations! We have a period
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
