when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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