worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my shit smells like andre
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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