Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
