Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
