I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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