2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
