dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
