I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I can't turn off my feet"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
