Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
