so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
