My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
