It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
