He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
