I have demons in me.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
