was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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