every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
There are leaves in my underwear?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
