I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
