I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
