He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
do nipples grow back?
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