Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
