You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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