can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
