It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
