saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Who did Billy Mays play for?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
