You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize