Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
