I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
