Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
