Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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