its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
