God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize