I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
