His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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