i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
