I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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