Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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