Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You are the jesus of drinking
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
