shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
