I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Cover your peen. We're going out.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
