just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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