I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
