(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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