Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize