dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize