I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
