big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize