Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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