Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
