Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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