toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
