and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Houston, we have a blender
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
