And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
