I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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