And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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