He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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