he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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