Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Randomize
