Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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